#50 minutes all up!
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There’s something about the weather today…
#wyvern art#this sure is different#haven’t painted like this in a hot second#speedpaint#50 minutes all up!#dragon art#eastern dragon#clouds
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today i bring you aba stimming. tomorrow? who knows
#aba#paracelsus#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#crow.gif#guilty gif#i love her so bad. fucked up silly little girlthing#huge fan of her and her illness#just hanging around. being sillay#took way too long to notice her shirt is pants it made me giggle. just chopped up some shorts and went Yeah thats a shirt#50 notes in under 20 minutes. i see were all not okay here JFJSJJFX
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There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something
#full time studying / volunteering at the refugee center / volunteering at two clinics#literally ab to have a meeting ab shadowing a doctor who’s researching ftd dementia in like 50 minutes#organic chemistry research 5 days a week bc ur bitch is trying to get published#hitting the gym 6 days a week. I’ll probably have to move it to mornings soon#meal prep#trying to snag a lowkey part time job#trying to read 30 minutes before bed#somehow have 2 fit a social life into this#I’m excited bc I finally feel like my time budgeting abilities are being put to the test BUT holy fuck .#studying will be my no 1 priority always. literally catch me doing anki cards in any pocket of free time I have#but I better live up to the challenge of juggling everything else too#ik I got this. and these are all things im choosing to do. not things I have to do#and I love being busy so it’ll be so fun#just had to be in awe for a second bc I used to admire girls who’re like this. and I am officially about to be one of them#p
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210602 VLIVE ♡ ft. Kang Clingu
#loveonewe#foronewe#nugudom#onewe#kanghyun#kang hyungu#giuk#cya#210602#vlive#oorieri#tuseral#useroro#wings.gifs#wings.original#chord telepathy duo <3#kang clingu <3#💜💜#do not separate‼️#iirc this is also the live where dongmyeong loses it every time harin breathes on his neck when they're all crammed on the couch#meanwhile giuk: shrinking personal space? no reaction. becoming a drum pad? no reaction. spontaneous massage? no reaction.#hyungu literally attached to him for 50 minutes? just a normal day.#p.s. in the 3rd to last one yonghoon & hyungu are arguing and/or one-upping each other in english skdjsdkjf & giuk is stuck in the middle#(honorary save giuk)
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ladies and gentlemen. we got em
#this is so fucking FUNNY dude banxbsnanxb#STRAIGHT PEOPLE ON REDDIT ARE SO MAD AND IM JUST SITTING HERE. GRINNING. PLEASED#that’s 700x more in character than the alternative and I’m just praying this is true/legit (cause I couldn’t find the exact interview this#is from- but I didn’t see anyone saying it was fake on Twitter/Reddit so idk)#to be fair I could only scroll through comments on reddit for like a minute before it started giving me brain damage so#but yeah bdbxsbscshxjdj YOKOYAMA. MAYBE IVE BEEN GIVING YOU TOO LITTLE CREDIT.#I absolutely love seeing all these basic ass straight folks getting so pissy about him not settling down with a nuclear biological family#and a wife and all that and dying at the ripe old age of his fucking mid-50s#like no shit???? what games have you been playing bro the whole fucking Point of his idea of family is unconventional#he’s literally a fucking orphan who didn’t grow up with any biological family are you fucking fr#dgagdhdhd ANYWAY yeah I’m seriously hoping to high heaven that this is legit#rambling#kiryu#yakuza#rgg#rgg8
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genuinely am not sure how I'm expected to get enough sleep, go to school, do all my assignments, study, exercise, keep up with dishes and laundry, keep my house clean, shower everyday, buy groceries, prepare 3 (healthy) meals a day and eat them, and not explode in the process???
#I am in school 50+ hours a week#it takes me 35 minutes to walk to school every day#i have sleep apnea and losing any amount of sleep catches up with me insanely quickly#like?! what?#this is not even including 'accessory' tasks like taking care of my cats and like. spending any amount of time at all with my partner?#days need to be longer or expectations of me need to be less!!!#oh also. find any time to go to the doctor if i need lol#inescapable hell#not even including hobbies! or getting therapy! or anything to keep my mental health in check!
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boy i accidentally clocked into work an hour early . what the fuc
#not a quote#mod dave#good morning chat. and by chat i mean all our followers#dude i was not expecting to crash so hard the week after classes ended#i just had three days off and im so serious out of those 72 hours i probably slept like. 50 of them#i think it caught up with me because i fucking rocketed out of bed at 9am thinking it was 10am (when i normally get up)#got to work by 9:30 (i normally clock in at 10:30)#and i didnt realize anything was wrong until like 20 minutes later#im good. im fine. im functioning normally. clearly
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rereading order of the stick (again), and greyiew is only in a few comics so far but man do i love this nihilistic wolf
#order of the stick#yes i know it hasn't been terribly long since i last reread it but#i've been desperately trying to get my dnd group to read it and i just had to go back and go through it again#and again. the first 250 strips or so are pretty cringey and there's aspects even later that make me wince#but fuck once you get to the soul splice arc you've read the last bad oots comic#''utterly dwarfed'' is fucking *incredible*#i am both incredibly ready and incredibly not ready for the climax#i bet durkon will live and i'm sure haley elan and roy will#o-chul i'm leaning ''survives'' and lien i think will make it#minrah will probably make it. i bet serini is doomed.#belkar is obviously doomed#i'm 100% on the fence about v#like straight-up 50/50 both ''live'' and ''die'' serve strong narrative purposes#but as to how it all plays out?#v still owes the fiends 23 minutes meaning the order can't rely on them to back them up in the clutch#so on the one hand it would make the most sense for them to hit as hard and fast as possible#but on the other - if the fiends *don't* call in the debt for their own purposes#they will have burned out their most powerful member too soon#burlew is too clever and too good a writer for a traditional battle scene as the climax#more is going to happen. *something* massive is going to shift#serini turns? redcloak turns on xykon and gets eaten by the mitd?#i can't tell! i'm going to flip tf out whenever it does happen though#hnggh this has been 20 years in the making and the climaxes have not failed a single note yet#burlew is goddamned *good* at rising action and nailing the climax of a story arc#it's gonna be fucking incredible ugh
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Day 869 of Amphibia Screenshots
Episode: The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers
#Amphibia#The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers#Amphibia The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers#Anne Boonchuy#Marcy Wu#Spring Plantar#Polly Plantar#Amphibia Screenshots#Amphibia Screenshot#SHOOT I'm so sorry this is like 12 hours late i didn't realize i had nothing queued 😭😭😭#i was at ren fair yesterday and worked 7 hours today and now midnight is in 50 minutes#💀💀#so uh here's this I'm about to go to bed soon I'm glad i opened tumblr 💀💀#I'm sorry normally i have at least a week queued but working 2 jobs and midterms coming up soon man i just keep forgetting oops#I'll have something out on time tomorrow though i promise!!!!
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I think that Red Thread!Sunny wouldn't even bat an eye at randomly seeing Aubrey and Basil making out behind the church when Aubrey should be delivering pastries in the city, maybe the client's order tidy and nicely put on the grass, forgotten for a minute.
Not batting an eye at least physically, but internally probably scoffing and cursing Basil for distracting Aubrey from her job, pastries will not forever be warm after all.
Again seeing the tall figure of Aubrey getting more meek and shy that usual because of Basil, who is significantly tinier that her, is amusing. So Sunny doesn't really say anything, prefering to not disclose to Aubrey that maybe their little lovebird spot is a bit too close to the path he takes everyday.
Maybe he tells Mari out of amusement.
A bit annoyed, too.
Aubrey's new and probably first boyfriend. And Mari is happy for her, her beloved friend finally finding someone that she's content with. Sunny's happy too. Already marveling over meeting the boy when Aubrey is ready enough to tell about her little love.
Sunny does not tell who the love is.
Mari pouts when he doesn't tell.
#omori of red thread au#Aubrey absolutely kabedon s Basil and the gets embarrassed because Basil gives her not reaction#just smiles#then either tries to get on tippy toes or straight up pulls her face down to kiss her#He's and old man he has no time to lose on kabedoning (guy who is 22)#to be fair they're both in their early 20 but it's silly calling them old even if they aren't at all#I'm a teen still let me bully people in their 20s for the year it remains for me (all very affectionate though#for me you're old when you hit 50 otherwise you're pretty young#aging is a privilege truly#but yea Sunny kinda finds Basil annoying#I too would find the local pretty church boy annoying if he looked at me without blinking for five minutes straight unprovoked#when I'm just minding my business then he proceeded to wife one of my closest friends up
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Every once in a while I think about Cleo From 5 to 7 and become absolutely verklempt over how Cleo spends the whole movie worrying about dying (she's waiting for the results of a biopsy that will tell her whether or not she has cancer) and all the people in her life are basically like "you're fine" "you're not going to die" "don't tell your lover, men don't like it when women are downers"....even her friend just offers a distraction....and how it's only near the end, when she is walking in park alone and is approached by a soldier on leave who's getting shipped back to Algeria later that night....it's only then that she explains what's going on to someone and he says he'll go to the hospital with her to cut the waiting short! And they go!!
At first when he approached her I was like, ahh, don't approach women in parks! But watching how the rest of the movie played out I realized that this guy was staring down the barrel of his own potential death, and that might be why he was able to help Cleo face her own mortality when no one else in her life was willing to engage with it.
#AHHHH#cleo from 5 to 7#agnes varda#approx. 50% of all feelings i've ever had about films are about agnes varda films#me: cleo from 5 to 7 didn't fuck me up as much a le bonheur#me 5 minutes later tears streaming down my face: NONE OF THE PEOPLE IN HER LIFE TOOK HER FEAR SERIOUSLY
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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god i wish places were walkable
#i took the bus to the shopping centre but then the next bus home wasnt due for another 40 minutes#so i thought i'd try walking home which google maps said would take 50 minutes#but after about 10 minutes of walking it'd just taken me to part of the main road where there's no path at all#and the road was uncrossable because cars were passing non-stop#i stood there for like 10-15 minutes to see if there'd be a chance to cross over and look for a path#before just giving up and walking back to the bus stop#because its seemingly impossible to safely walk home#i hate this place
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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two nights in a row gripping ice cubes like i'm 14 this is fucking pathetic
#i feel like my bones are filled with concrete#i spent the day doing all the things i've been putting off#emails to orthodontist and dentist and accountant#found a gp to hopefully get a mental health plan set up with#and went searching for a psych#but fuck me that's been less that fruitful#it feels like a waste of time and energy and money#as soon as you set suicidal ideation as an issue the pool of psychs goes from 1251 to 152#and adding queer filters to that?#psychology today says go die fag#and of those how many do you reckon is eligible for the medicare rebate?#because i've emailed 4 and of those i think maybe 1 will be eligible#BUT!#they cost so much that even WITH the rebate I'd be paying $130 for a 50 minute session#it's just a waste of money#i could see a therapist every day and still see no improvement#medicare offers a rebate for 10 sessions IF i'm lucky#so that's $1300 for 50 minutes a month#i judt can't see how that's going to do anyone any good#alternatively i can sit down with rika and get my will sorted and that money can go somewhere useful#that math isn't right#it'd be $1800 for 50 minutes a month#even more wasteful#i think i'm better off finding a comfortable and private place to decay#mum might be mental but maybe she was right when she told me i should just kill myself when i was 14#i've been inhaling smoke for so long
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